I’ve been meaning to start a blog for so long, but as with many things in my life, it kept being put off. I kept saying to myself, “What would I write about?” “Why should I write a blog?” Then, “what would I call my blog?” Then today happened.
A lunchtime today, I called my hubby to chat to him on his lunch break. Halfway through our conversation, C (hubby) reminded me that today was the Feast of St. Francis. And it made me cry.
Back track 8 years plus one day ago, my husband and I were expecting our first baby. I was only 7 weeks pregnant, but already so in love with this little life inside of me. My dream had come true, I was finally going to be a mommy. That day I went to work like normal and was feeling okay, nothing out of the ordinary. At lunchtime, I went to the restroom and realized something was wrong, I was spotting. I immediately called my clinic, then my husband. The following few hours were a blur, leading to the devastating news that our baby had passed. I ran out of the clinic, and we both sat in our car crying.
The next day, October 4th, was difficult. We lost the baby that day, and were in the midst of the most trying time in our life together. That was the Feast of St. Francis. So, we named our baby Francis Miguel.
The following weeks were hard, there were so many unanswered questions as to why we lost our baby. It was hard to see how, if any, blessings could be born out of this trial.
At one point, I prayed to God, “Please Lord, I want to be a mother. I will take any child you bless me with, even if they have special needs.” The next September, I gave birth to our first son, and he has Autism. He was our answered prayer.
So, he is one of the main reasons I started this blog, so I can be reminded that sometimes blessings come in the most unexpected ways. And, for my son, sometimes all it takes is stix and fuzzies.